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Hey, {NAME OF RECIPIENT:8}!
It’s your special time!! That’s why I’m sending you this Funny Bonz Card™ to help make your bachelorette celebration magical! It’s all about YOU and celebrating your last moments as a single woman! So, put on your dancing shoes and get ready to party!
This is your last hoorah – we are going to make sure it’s WILD! You better be prepared to {CRAZY ACTIVITY:9} in the streets and then later {TABOO ACTIVITY:11}! Now, be warned, at some point one of us is going to dare you to {SEXUAL ACTIVITY:14} every single person we see at {LOCATION:15} while wearing your penis tiara! And seeing as it’s the last time you get to {DISGUSTING THING TO DO:20}, you might be challenged to do a whole lot of that too – this is your last chance to live up to your old nickname, "{FUNNY/CRUDE NICKNAME:22}!"
But for real, I’m so happy for you! We all knew it was love at first sight with you two, and you’re going to have such an amazing life together! I mean, who else could possibly put up with your {GROSS/CRUDE ACTIVITY:17}… What a saint! I’m sure you can totally make it up to your Lovey Dovey by doing the {CRAZY/MADE UP SEX ACT:24} on your honeymoon. After that, there’s no question that you two will be together forever… or at least until the video of your bachelorette party surfaces.
Enough sappy stuff… It’s time to party!!!
With love,
{YOUR NAME/WHAT YOU’D LIKE TO BE CALLED:25}
P.S.
{JUST IN CASE YOUR CARD IS A LITTLE “RUFF”, FEEL FREE TO THROW THEM A BONE WITH A PERSONAL MESSAGE!:71}
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