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Happy Birthday, {NAME OF RECIPIENT:8}!
So, you’re another freakin’ year older! An old {CURSE WORD REFERRING TO A PERSON:9} like you certainly deserves {A SEX TOY ENDING IN (S):11} and {BODY PART ENDING IN (S):14} for your birthday! Seeing as they didn’t have any more of those at the gift store, I decided to send you this Funny Bonz Card™ to let you know that I think the world of you and your {BODY PART:15}! You’re welcome, you adorable {OFFENSIVE NAME:20} - or as they called you back in the day, “You little {ANIMAL AND BODY PART:22}!”
But for real, you are one of my favorite {CRUDE BODY PART NAME ENDING IN (S):17} and I want you to know how special you are to me; even though you smell like {SOMETHING RANCID:24}. So, I’m sending you mad love for your special day and best of luck with your {INFECTION/DISEASE:25}. I truly hope they invent an ointment or some form of suppository for that unfortunate situation!
All my {TERM OF ENDEARMENT AND BODILY FUNCTION ENDING IN (S):28},
With love,
{YOUR NAME/WHAT YOU'D LIKE TO BE CALLED:27}
P.S.
{JUST IN CASE YOUR CARD IS A LITTLE “RUFF”, FEEL FREE TO THROW THEM A BONE WITH A PERSONAL MESSAGE!:69}
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