 | Hey {NAME OF RECIPIENT:8},
I’m so sorry to hear you’re not feeling well. I’m sending you this silly Funny Bonz Card™ to try to cheer you up, lift your spirits, and tickle your {FUNNY BODY PART:9}!
How crazy is it that all you did was {CRAZY ACTIVITY:11} while your hair was wet and now you’re down and out!? The last time I remember you were even close to feeling this way was that time you ate {SOMETHING RANCID:14} mixed with {SOMETHING GROSS:15} and you power puked all over {NAME A FAMILY MEMBER/MUTUAL FRIEND ENDING IN ‘S:20} crotch… WOW, that was unfortunate.
Anyway, I want you to know that I’m here for you if you need anything; I truly hope you get well soon. I know whenever I’m not feeling well I love having my {WEIRD BODY PART:22} rubbed with {STRANGE/GROSS LIQUID:17} while {SONG TITLE AND ARTIST:24} lulls me into a healing slumber… It always seems to do the trick! If you want me to do that for you, just say the word; I’m here to help!
Best of luck with a speedy recovery! You’re tougher than a basket of baby {SMALL/CUTE ANIMAL ENDING IN S:25}, so I know you’ll be back to your old self in no time! Just make sure to drink plenty of fluids, get plenty of rest, and eat {SOMETHING DISGUSTING:28} at least three times a day!
Feel better soon!
Best Wishes,
{YOUR NAME/WHAT YOU’D LIKE TO BE CALLED:27}
P.S.
{JUST IN CASE YOUR CARD IS A LITTLE “RUFF”, FEEL FREE TO THROW THEM A BONE WITH A PERSONAL MESSAGE!:69} |
