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  • Home
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Home / New Baby / New Baby – Special Delivery!
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  • Step 1: Fetch Your Card

  • Send a comical card to welcome a new addition to the litter!

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  • Contains adult material that may not be suitable for kids.

  • Step 2: Unleash the Funny!

  • Step 3: Here’s your pawsome custom card! Click your answer to make changes, then click anywhere on the screen to save.

  • Dear {NAME OF RECIPIENT (S):8},

    Congratulations on the birth of {BABY NAME:9}! I am so happy and excited to celebrate this wonderful occasion with you! I mean, what other time in your life do all your family and friends celebrate the fact that you got laid? But look at what all that grunting and sweating got you - well done! That’s why I’m sending you this Funny Bonz Card™ to share in the celebration!

    You have so much to look forward to in the months and years ahead. Sure, you’ll be a walking zombie for a while, and there’ll be projectile vomiting and explosive diarrhea that smells like {SOMETHING RANCID:11}, and not to mention hours on end singing that {MADE UP CRAZY LULLABY NAME:14} lullaby. But there’ll be super-sweet moments too; like hearing their first word. Odds are if they’re anything like {NAME OF RELATIVE OR FRIEND:15}, their first word will be {FUNNY/MADE UP CURSE WORD:20}! There will be so many other awesome things you’ll teach them too: like how to {RANDOM ACTIVITY:22}, {CRAZY/SILLY ACTIVITY:17}, and since you’re so good at {CRAZY/SILLY ACTIVITY:24}, you have to pass that wisdom on, for sure!

    So again, congratulations – and remember, if you ever need a babysitter… I’m busy that night. Just kidding; I’d be happy to sit on that little angel, anytime. I already know the most important rule - don’t drop the baby, and don’t feed it after midnight – or something like that…

    With love and best wishes,
    {YOUR NAME/WHAT YOU’D LIKE TO BE CALLED:25}

    P.S.

    {JUST IN CASE YOUR CARD IS A LITTLE “RUFF”, FEEL FREE TO THROW THEM A BONE WITH A PERSONAL MESSAGE!:71}
  • {Your Message:99}
  • Avatar
    Dear {NAME OF RECIPIENT (S):8},

    Congratulations on the birth of {BABY NAME:9}! I am so happy and excited to celebrate this wonderful occasion with you! I mean, what other time in your life do all your family and friends celebrate the fact that you got laid? But look at what all that grunting and sweating got you - well done! That’s why I’m sending you this Funny Bonz Card™ to share in the celebration!

    You have so much to look forward to in the months and years ahead. Sure, you’ll be a walking zombie for a while, and there’ll be projectile vomiting and explosive diarrhea that smells like {SOMETHING RANCID:11}, and not to mention hours on end singing that {MADE UP CRAZY LULLABY NAME:14} lullaby. But there’ll be super-sweet moments too; like hearing their first word. Odds are if they’re anything like {NAME OF RELATIVE OR FRIEND:15}, their first word will be {FUNNY/MADE UP CURSE WORD:20}! There will be so many other awesome things you’ll teach them too: like how to {RANDOM ACTIVITY:22}, {CRAZY/SILLY ACTIVITY:17}, and since you’re so good at {CRAZY/SILLY ACTIVITY:24}, you have to pass that wisdom on, for sure!

    So again, congratulations – and remember, if you ever need a babysitter… I’m busy that night. Just kidding; I’d be happy to sit on that little angel, anytime. I already know the most important rule - don’t drop the baby, and don’t feed it after midnight – or something like that…

    With love and best wishes,
    {YOUR NAME/WHAT YOU’D LIKE TO BE CALLED:25}

    P.S.

    {JUST IN CASE YOUR CARD IS A LITTLE “RUFF”, FEEL FREE TO THROW THEM A BONE WITH A PERSONAL MESSAGE!:71}
  • Avatar
    {Your Message:99}
  • {Envelope Number:68}
    Dear {NAME OF RECIPIENT (S):8},

    Congratulations on the birth of {BABY NAME:9}! I am so happy and excited to celebrate this wonderful occasion with you! I mean, what other time in your life do all your family and friends celebrate the fact that you got laid? But look at what all that grunting and sweating got you - well done! That’s why I’m sending you this Funny Bonz Card™ to share in the celebration!

    You have so much to look forward to in the months and years ahead. Sure, you’ll be a walking zombie for a while, and there’ll be projectile vomiting and explosive diarrhea that smells like {SOMETHING RANCID:11}, and not to mention hours on end singing that {MADE UP CRAZY LULLABY NAME:14} lullaby. But there’ll be super-sweet moments too; like hearing their first word. Odds are if they’re anything like {NAME OF RELATIVE OR FRIEND:15}, their first word will be {FUNNY/MADE UP CURSE WORD:20}! There will be so many other awesome things you’ll teach them too: like how to {RANDOM ACTIVITY:22}, {CRAZY/SILLY ACTIVITY:17}, and since you’re so good at {CRAZY/SILLY ACTIVITY:24}, you have to pass that wisdom on, for sure!

    So again, congratulations – and remember, if you ever need a babysitter… I’m busy that night. Just kidding; I’d be happy to sit on that little angel, anytime. I already know the most important rule - don’t drop the baby, and don’t feed it after midnight – or something like that…

    With love and best wishes,
    {YOUR NAME/WHAT YOU’D LIKE TO BE CALLED:25}

    {P.S:74}

    {JUST IN CASE YOUR CARD IS A LITTLE “RUFF”, FEEL FREE TO THROW THEM A BONE WITH A PERSONAL MESSAGE!:71}
  • {Envelope Number:68}
    {Your Message:99}


  • Dear {NAME OF RECIPIENT (S):8},

    Congratulations on the birth of {BABY NAME:9}! I am so happy and excited to celebrate this wonderful occasion with you! I mean, what other time in your life do all your family and friends celebrate the fact that you got laid? But look at what all that grunting and sweating got you - well done! That’s why I’m sending you this Funny Bonz Card™ to share in the celebration!

    You have so much to look forward to in the months and years ahead. Sure, you’ll be a walking zombie for a while, and there’ll be projectile vomiting and explosive diarrhea that smells like {SOMETHING RANCID:11}, and not to mention hours on end singing that {MADE UP CRAZY LULLABY NAME:14} lullaby. But there’ll be super-sweet moments too; like hearing their first word. Odds are if they’re anything like {NAME OF RELATIVE OR FRIEND:15}, their first word will be {FUNNY/MADE UP CURSE WORD:20}! There will be so many other awesome things you’ll teach them too: like how to {RANDOM ACTIVITY:22}, {CRAZY/SILLY ACTIVITY:17}, and since you’re so good at {CRAZY/SILLY ACTIVITY:24}, you have to pass that wisdom on, for sure!

    So again, congratulations – and remember, if you ever need a babysitter… I’m busy that night. Just kidding; I’d be happy to sit on that little angel, anytime. I already know the most important rule - don’t drop the baby, and don’t feed it after midnight – or something like that…

    With love and best wishes,
    {YOUR NAME/WHAT YOU’D LIKE TO BE CALLED:25}

    {P.S:74}

    {JUST IN CASE YOUR CARD IS A LITTLE “RUFF”, FEEL FREE TO THROW THEM A BONE WITH A PERSONAL MESSAGE!:71}


  • {Your Message:99}
  • Hidden
  • {Sent To You By: (first):89.3} {Sent To You By: (last):89.6}
    {Sender\'s Address::80} {Sender\'s Address Line 2::81}
    {Sender\'s City::82} {Sender\'s State::83} {Sender\'s Zip/Postal Code::84} {Sender\'s Country::85}








    {Send To: Name (First):41.3} {Send To: Name (Last):41.6}
    {Address (Street Address):34.1} {Address (Address Line 2):34.2}
    {Address (City):34.3} {Address (State / Province):34.4} {Address (Country):34.6}









    {Envelope Number:68}
  • Step 4: Share The Funny!

  • You can choose more than one way to send your Pawsome Creation!
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