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Happy Valentine's Day, {TERM OF ENDEARMENT:8}!
I can’t believe we’ve been together for {HIGH NUMBER:9} years; it has been an incredible journey! When we first met, I know I promised you the world’s best {BODY PART:11} and the most amazing {SEX POSITION:14} you’ve ever experienced... I’m sorry I failed you. So I thought I’d make it up to you with this Funny Bonz Card™ and offer you a new promise for the year ahead, my love - we’re going to have the best {INFECTION/DISEASE:15} of all time! Why, you ask? Because I’m a hopeless romantic and love you so much that I still get butterflies when I am around you! I seriously think I’m going to {BODILY FUNCTION:20} every time you’re near. You have surpassed my every dream and honestly turned out to be the most amazing {OFFENSIVE NAME TO CALL SOMEONE:22} anyone could ever hope for!
Even though we sometimes drive each other nuts, life would not be as amazing without you. I could not imagine having anyone else kissing all over my {BODY PART:17}; it drives me wild! Now go pour yourself your favorite drink and save it, because tonight you’ll be dripping it all over my {UNPLEASANT BODY PART:24} and spreading it with your {WEIRD BODY PART:25}… mmm, I can’t wait!
But seriously, cheers to us being the couple that everyone wants to {SEXUAL ACTIVITY:28} and us creating wonderful memories today and all the days ahead!
All my {BODY FUNCTION and LOVING ACTION ENDING IN S:27},
{YOUR NAME/WHAT YOU'D LIKE TO BE CALLED:61}
P.S.
{JUST IN CASE YOUR CARD IS A LITTLE “RUFF”, FEEL FREE TO THROW THEM A BONE WITH A PERSONAL MESSAGE!:71}
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