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Congratulations, {NAME OF NEWLYWEDS:8}!
What a glorious occasion to celebrate! You two make an amazing team and if you can make it through this Funny Bonz Card™ laughing together, you can make it through anything! From the first time anyone saw you together it was plain to see that it was love at first {NAUGHTY BODY PART AND ACTION:9}. Especially since you all clearly have the same interests - who else loves to {CRAZY ACTION/ACTIVITY:11} and {EVEN CRAZIER ACTION/ACTIVITY:14}? What a perfect pair; now that’s true love!
As you embark on this new life adventure, here are some words of wisdom to help you both have a strong and happy marriage - starting with the Honeymoon… be sure that {SPOUSE #1:15} attempts what is undeniably the best sex move ever, the {MADE UP CRAZY SEX MOVE:20}! You might need a few minutes to recover before {SPOUSE #2:22} tries the {MADE UP CRAZIER SEX MOVE:17}! But that should certainly start things off with a BANG!
Everyone will tell you that marriage requires hard work. Think of your marriage as a {ANIMAL ENDING IN (‘S) AND A GROSS BODY PART:24} – it needs to be nurtured, fed and watered daily so it can blossom. The more you tend to it, the more it will grow. And finally, love your spouse more than you love your career, your hobbies and {INAPPROPRIATE ACTIVITY:25}; that other stuff cannot {SEXUAL ACTION AND BODY PART:28} the way your partner will!
On second thoughts, maybe you should keep doing what you’re doing and everything will be fine because you’re such an amazing couple!
CHEERS!
{YOUR NAME(S)/WHAT YOU’D LIKE TO BE CALLED:27}
P.S.
{JUST IN CASE YOUR CARD IS A LITTLE “RUFF”, FEEL FREE TO THROW THEM A BONE WITH A PERSONAL MESSAGE!:71} |
